I knew, really, I'd been an avoider all my life, as opposed to a confronter. I think I learned this early, an overreaction to the rejection I faced as a young female confronter? In any case, I spent my life avoiding. But in this new job, it just will not work. It is not acceptable. I must confront. I am learning to do it, practicing. I must have the skills of a confronter to succeed here. I am understanding confronting, how and why. And I realize that through my life as an avoider I have denied opportunities to those who would be close to me. I realize that being an avoider is a distancing strategy. I did not mean to do that. Avoiding means you deny others the opportunity to know you. What you think, feel, need. How could my relationship with children, husbands, friends, coworkers have been different if I could have had the skill of confronting before this? The impact is huge. I am mourning the loss. It is too late for that, I must start now to be a confronter. I wonder if I ever thought that people wouldn't love me if I confronted. Now I have no fear of that. How can they love me if I don't confront? I have been denying myself to every other person in my life. It stops now. This is what I meant by the personal growth I hoped to get from the new job. It is paying off.